By: Francesca Fernandez
I am a character in a scene. My life is a movie and my voice a
monologue. The rain outside isn’t just water falling from the sky, it is a
backdrop to the melancholy of my day-to-day narrative. My world is an
expression of art, as long as I drill my rose-colored lenses into my mind.
Romanticization is the act of portraying or thinking about something
in a way that makes it seem more appealing, idealized, or glamorous. It’s
similar to having a huge crush on a person. Their flaws and imperfections
are just part of what makes them unbelievably attractive, a part of their
charm. If they spill coffee on themselves, it’s perceived as quirky. If they
fail a test, it’s because they’re the type of person who does not bother with
numbers, their intelligence goes beyond measurable marks. In the same
way, people have started to romanticize their own lives, turning everyday
moments, problems, or minor inconveniences into something poetic.
Mundane routines become grand adventures, struggles become character
development, and loneliness becomes beautiful solitude.
But why do people feel the need to romanticize their lives? For
many, it’s a way to cope with the unpredictability and hardships of reality.
It provides a sense of control, utilizing the mindset that everything
happens for a reason. It is an interesting coping mechanism that has been
amplified by social media. Platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Pinterest
have popularized the idea that life should not only be lived but also feel
beautiful. What was once just an act of personal perception has now
become something performative, where people seek validation by
showcasing their idealized life online. The constant exposure to
aestheticized content influences how people perceive their own
experiences, and it does not stop there. These platforms also shaped
aspects considered worthy of romanticization. Aesthetics such as “dark
academia”, “clean girl”, and “cottagecore” often add precise criteria on
how to shape and decorate life.
Curating one’s life into an aesthetic experience blurs the line
between genuine appreciation and imposed expectations. While it can be a
powerful tool to find joy in the mundane, there is an unrealistic standard to
constantly maintain a picturesque existence. Life, in its natural state, is
unpredictable and imperfect, yet the pressure to make every moment feel
beautiful or cinematic can create a disconnect between perception and
reality. The idea that every experience should fit into a carefully crafted
aesthetic can lead to an internal conflict, where people feel the need to
shape their emotions and responses to align with an ideal rather than
experiencing them authentically.
Furthermore, this mindset can implement distorted perspectives on how to
handle heavy and unfiltered problems. Rather than tackle issues with
vulnerability, resilience, emotional intelligence, and acceptance,
romanticization brings out the tendency to filter pain through an idealized
lens. Instead of acknowledging sadness, frustration, or hardship for what it
truly is, there is a growing inclination to frame struggles in a poetic or
aesthetically pleasing way. Heartbreak becomes something to be
romanticized with handwritten letters and rain-streaked windows, burnout
is disguised behind soft-lit study montages, and loneliness is portrayed as a
peaceful solitude rather than an emotional challenge that requires
introspection and support.
While this approach can make difficulties feel more manageable, it also
risks minimizing the seriousness of real struggles. It may discourage
people from seeking genuine help, whether from friends, family, or
professionals, because they feel pressured to present their pain in a way
that is socially palatable or visually appealing. When self-expression is
shaped by the need to fit an aesthetic ideal, individuals may suppress
emotions that need to be processed, ultimately delaying healing.
Romanticization should not replace genuine emotional expression, nor
should it serve as a barrier to true self-reflection.
Life is not always meant to be aesthetic or poetic. At its best,
romanticizing life should be about deepening one’s connection to the
world, not detaching from it. Learning to balance appreciation with
authenticity allows for a more fulfilling experience, where both the highs
and lows are embraced for what they truly are. Life’s beauty is not just in
its aesthetics but in its honesty. The unfiltered, messy, and deeply human
moments that shape who we are.