Here’s an insider tip from student to student: if you move your focus just a little bit away WAAPA, you’ll find a university! That’s right, this un-notable series of buildings are the Mount Lawley campus of Edith Cowan University.
The history of the Mount Lawley campus is richer than your average student buying a burger at the Grindhouse! Formed in ye ole era of 1991, as Edith Cowan defeated Hugh Jackman in hand-to-hand combat (citation needed), she trapped his spirit within a limestone prison (citation needed) and from the wreckage of their battle, she formed a school with her own bare hands (citation needed). If that’s true or not is not important, what is important is what is here now.
Unlike ECU Joondalup, aka The Labyrinth, ECU’s tiny size allows students and rich benefactors alike to only sort of get kind of lost while walking around the campus. You might notice beanbag-infested lawns as you stroll past the library, and don’t forget to grab a quick bite at the Chatterbox, the only good place to get food here!
The cobblestone pathways might lead you the Mount Lawley tavern, often crawling with education students alike drinking away their stresses and sorrows with cheapest pint they offer. Near the tavern is both the Student Guild and Student Services buildings, both buildings that somehow teleport you to the plane of limbo, where you’ll have less idea on what to do with yourself than a film student after they graduate.
As you walk down to buildings 10-17, you’ll notice why there isn’t any promotional material of these buildings. The feeling of emotional flaccidness is palpable, it’s like getting your soul wretched out of your body. You’ll wonder “it can’t get any worse, right?” Thankfully you are correct, but it is times like these that I’d like to remind everyone that Joondalup has a Boost Juice, and we, over here at Mount Lawley, have… a therapist appointment on Tuesday.
As you move back through the campus to the Grindhouse, you may see a shimmering pair of booty shorts. Beware! You’ve stepped on WAAPA territory. The musical theatre students will stare you down if you’re wearing a hoodie, so be careful. You may wonder how much wonder is in the WAAPA building, mayhap a sliver of Disneyland? Unfortunately it’s as dry as a shut-down Adventure World, the interior gives government building-chic and the cacophony of everyone practicing different music is like a drug trip gone bad.
What about the sports facility, you may ask. To be frank with you, it’s across the road, it’s barely a part of the campus. And sport? What are you, Joondalup? I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a Boost Juice in there.
Hopefully this has encouraged any student to wonder through the campus, taste the palpable sadness throughout, and quickly run back to your car before the next tree falls down. But don’t feel sorry or sympathy for us Mount Lawley folks, we won’t be here in two years anyway.